As an adoptee, I know that it's normal to have the curiosity to look for and find biological parents, but to also be content with which you are no matter who raised you. I'm just glad I can still say that I have a family who raised me, put up with me and still loves me. Adopted persons, as children and as adults, may wonder why they were placed for adoption or what was "wrong" with them that caused their birth parents to give them up. Grief is a common reaction to the loss of the birth parents, and grieving may begin when the child is old enough to understand what being adopted means. They, like any other human being, are curious about themselves and any family relatives.
Once you have made the decision to search for birth parents, you may have mixed feelings about it. You may feel excited, relieved or anxious. Children accept and absorb the fact of their adoption in different ways at different stages of their development. Knowing the story behind their adoption allows children to gradually come to terms with their past, rather than having to deal with psychological issues related to adoption later in life. My parents have always told me from before I could remember that I was an adopted child, but a very special one. They have always told me that if I ever wanted to pursue seeking out my biological parents, that would not hurt them at all.
Parents can facilitate this developmental process by being knowledgeable and supportive, and by continuing to retell their child his or her adoption story. However, if the child is over 18 years, He/she can proceed with the search of his biological parents. The adoptee can start with the adoption agency your birth parents used to give up the child for adoption. The sad thing is that there are children who have been searching for their biological parents for years to no avail.
Now you can visit www.LocatePeople.org and enter their names. You can enter their approximate ages and what state you think they live in as well, but generally if you have their name, that is enough. You will instantly be provided with an address and telephone number of that person. Please people, search hard and never give up!!! Even if you don't end up liking the birth parents you find, you'll be glad you never gave up.
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